Day Six

Sarah may have mastered being able to eat her meals during a never ending earthquake. She even managed to take a shower this morning on a particularly bumpy piece of track. But sleep? Not so much.
Even getting dressed, while occasionally challenging, is eventually achievable.
Left leg first. Come on you can do this, just lift that leg. You've been able to stand on one leg all of your life. A little movement isnt going to stop you. Just pick up your foot and punch it into that trouser leg. Here we go... Crash. Oh crap, feels like we ran over a cow. Lets try again.
This could go on for some time, until you throw in the towel and lie on your back and do an impression of an upside down turtle, with your legs wriggling around in the air. I think this is the approved method that fat girls use to try on stretch jeans in the mall.
You have to wonder. Did the fat girls learn it from the break dancers, or were they the inspiration?

Sarah says she had no sleep at all. This last stretch of track has certainly been challenging in parts.

Sarah's mum has decided to cut her losses and stay on the train today. She is surprisingly good with walking, but steps knock her for a six. And boy, do these forts and palaces have steps! Sarah says that some of them are up to her mums knees. Talk about a cardio workout. Maybe that was invented here.

We are heading for Agra. Oh dear, just saw my first squatter for the morning. I don't think I will have the blinds up during breakfast.

Agra is the location of a rather famous building. It is the shrine to all husbands who spend far too much on their wives. Sometimes I feel like I deserve a wing here myself!

There's a famous photograph of Princess Di sitting in front of this place. A couple of people back home have suggested that I should get a photo in the same location. But I don't look anything like Princy Di. Oh well. I just hope I don't obliterate the view of the building. I'm still the fat white guy, remember.

I'm sorry to disappoint those in the sweepstake that guessed I would lose half of my body weight, but I don't think I've lost anything. You can blame Sarah for that. She has managed to keep me away from everything so far. Bottled water seems to be the answer.

In the morning, we visit Agra Fort, or the Red Fort. These palaces and forts have so many courtyards. Very much a his and hers theme to the layout of these places.
Then lunch, and off to the big one.

Visiting the Taj Mahal is where you can see the advantage of being on this kind of tour. All the way along the trip, we have missed queues and gone straight in. But here. There is a queue that wraps around the base of the Taj before they can get to the steps. We go straight up. Then, up on the main platform, there is another queue that wraps around the building before they can get in. We go straight in.

To be honest, there isn't a hell of a lot to see inside. You walk around a bit, see a central chamber, and go out the back entrance to see the view over the river.

But the outside?
I'm sorry but I have to say it.
FUCK!
This building is fucking awesome!
The sheer majesty of it makes all civilized words pale into insignificance.
Somebody once described it as a teardrop on the cheek of time.
The marble it's built from is the hardest in the world. It is completely non-porous, and doesn't absorb any crap from the environment. Any dust or pollution gets washed off by the rain. It stays the original colour. Forever.

Not surprisingly, there is a bit of an industry around the Princy Di photo. There are photographers here, hawking their wares, all offering to photograph you on Princy Di's bench. Some of our group did it. They will not be best pleased that they got it wrong. Seriously! They got the wrong bench!

Look at the Princy Di photo. She is on an elevated platform with a pool at her feet, and the big white building behind her.
Now, google her bench, and you will get a million hits on people striking the pose. But they all have the pool behind them. Between them and the Taj.
Don't know why. The photographers just keep getting it wrong.
You'll see in my photo, I'm on the right bench. Can you see me? Sarah took it from the other side of the pool, where all the morons were lining up to sit for the birdie.
You will also see why I don't ask her to take many photos.




I've added a photo from the net to demonstrate. The bench that the dufus from Hollywood is standing on is in front of the pool. The photo of Di that he is comparing himself to, clearly has the bench between the pool and the Taj. He even had the original photo and he STILL fucked it up!!!

Indians all around the world should be proud of two things. First, that somebody in their heritage had the artistic genius to come up with something as beautiful as this thing. The fine, closeup detail as well as the broad strokes, the big picture.

Second, that the people are looking after it so well. There is tight security. Nothing is allowed in that can cause damage or litter. Almost all previous palaces, forts, temples and monuments were once buried in semiprecious detailing. In almost every case, everything worth anything was either stolen or fell off. Or both. Not here. It is in its original condition. We even have to wear little surgical booties over our shoes to walk on the marble. Impressive.

The locals didn't get to use the booties, they have to leave their shoes on a rack. With about 20,000 visitors here per day, good luck with that. "No, mine was the white runners. Yes there were two! The white ones. Nike. No, one Adidas won't do! Yes, size 9. Oh, just give me those jandals."

I have added some other shots, to show the beauty of the place. You know the designers who make a room neutral, so that a splash of colour lifts it? Well see what a few splashes of colour does for the big white tomb.