Zer Matterhorn

After leaving Montreux, we stopped in at probably the last remaining intact castle in Switzerland, and possibly beyond. Chillon castle, made famous by Lord Byron’s poem “The Prisoner of Chillon”. Doesn’t ring a bell? Not for me either. 

It sits on the lakefront of Lake Geneva, just down the road from Montreux. 

Down the side of the lake, we then stopped for lunch at a winery with painfully awesome views of the lake. 

Wouldn’t it be hard work having to put up with that view from work every day?

Ploughmans lunch and some wine tasting. I know, it’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it. 

Then, a bit of a drive up into the Alps. Passed many little villages and farms, clinging to the side of the mountains. 

I don’t know what they’re growing up there, but it doesn’t look safe. 

Getting to our next hotel is a bit of a logistical challenge. We are staying in a village called Zermatt, once a village of cow-herders, now an aprez-ski destination for the e-bike generation. 

Zermatt has not allowed combustion engines for decades. The bus can go no further than a staging post, where we transfer to minibuses. From there, we head to the edge of town, where we transfer to smaller, electric vehicles of 6-7 seats, all about the size of the electric vehicles buzzing around on an airport tarmac. These take us to the door of our hotel, which is itself spread over 4 chalet-style buildings. 

Once we’ve settled in, we go for a walk around the town. More precisely, along the town, because the retail/restaurant part of town doesn’t venture far off the Main Street. 

The biggest danger here are the little taxi/shuttle vehicles, and bicycles, e- or otherwise. While all streets appear to be pedestrian only, these silent scourges on 2 or 4 wheels creep up on you like ninja assassins.

These guys only saving grace is with some of the older vehicles, there is a diff whine you can hear coming. 

Reminds me of the story that says after any long-haul BA 747 flight from London, the whining continues for an hour after the engines shut down. 

Based on a true story. 

These guys are all waiting at the train station for business.

Did I not mention that there is a train station?

There is a train station. Right into town. Electric, obv.

This guy didn’t even blink the whole time we were here!!

The odd posh hotel use horse and carriage to take you and your bags to and from. 

All the usual suspects can be found here, to satisfy the demographic. I said this about Montreux, and I say it about Zermatt. VERY Queenstown!

European Queenstown. Queenstown on steroids.

Real estate is unaffordable here, even by Swiss standards, as are many things here. 

Switzerland is expensive. 

Zermatt is arse-puckeringly expensive. 

Let’s play “Spot the tiny house”. Can you see it yet?

Look a little closer. 

Can you see it yet?

It’s called the Eidelweiss hut. 

I call it the “Are you fucking crazy?” hut. 

The focus of everyone who comes here is to at least see the Matterhorn. Like all cleverly advertised and famous entities, it is elusive. It is well known as a cloud magnet, so occasional glimpses from well-trodden viewing locations are all most of us can expect. 

Personally, I think the most reliable view of the Matterhorn is this one:

Matterhorn or not, the sheer walls of granite are very imposing