Off to Waterford

Monday July 29

Another nice breakfast and on the bus for an 0800 kickoff.

First stop is the Irish National Stud in County Kildare. It was established in 1900 by Colonel William Hall Walker, who had three interests in common with the King. Horse racing, cards, and his wife. 

Col. Walker also had a great interest in astrology, to the point that it dictated which horses would race, which horses would mate, and which horses would do neither. Despite his ‘creative’ decision-making policies, he became very successful in this line of business. It grew to become one of the most successful stud farms in the world. 

When he returned to live in England, he donated all of his assets and lands in Ireland to the Irish government. 

The stud is still one of the most successful racing stud farms in the word. It is also the only one that is owned by the Government and it’s people.

Next was the port town of Waterford. A tour of the famous Crystal factory was an interesting peek into the craftsmanship involved in creating what will often become a family heirloom. 

We’re about to go for a wander around the rest of this town before dinner.

Well that didn’t happen. The rain popped in for a visit. We had dinner in the pub where we’re staying.

It’s called Dooley’s. Nicely renovated old building.

Dublin day two

Sunday July 29

Clearly still not on UK time yet. I woke up before 0500 local, to find Sarah tapping away on her phone. Apparently she’s been checking her emails and iMessaging to friends and family for the past hour or two. I know, right? To quote some Disney princess, Let it go.

Breakfast at 0700. Very nice. Black pudding is on offer here too, and still not touching it. Sarah has done her PhD, and won’t be touching it either. First rule of eating foreign delicacies: Don’t google the ingredients. 

Just about to hop on the bus for a guided tour.

So the readers Digest tour of Dublin city is pretty good. Sarah’s favourite Georgian style housing is EVERYWHERE!! Row after row, street after street. She loves it.

We learned that Dublin was settled by the Vikings, quite a few years ago. Apparently they motored up the river Liffey, until they reached the Brazen Head, Ireland’s oldest pub. I imagine they stayed for the Guinness.

It seems that blood donations in Dublin were very popular till about 10 years ago. That’s when they stopped giving a free pint of Guinness for every pint donated. I doubt the two events were related.

The Guinness family have continued to be major benefactors to the poor of Dublin, funding what is effectively state housing, along with many ancillary services.
They are also great employers. They introduced paid leave, pensions, and other progressive ideas.

Those of us wanted a different kind of culture, took an excursion to a place called Glendalough. It’s probably one of the oldest historical site in Ireland. I may say that a lot before the week is over.

It sits at one of the highest points in the land, next to a couple of lakes. Some bloke called Kevin decided that it’s the perfect spot to gaze into the horizon and chat with his creator. Unfortunately, Kev had been a remarkably popular chap, and an ever growing group of followers decided it was just the spot for them too. Quite a large community of up to 2000 people lived there at any one time. It stayed there for a few centuries, as a monastery. Eventually everyone moved to Dublin to get better Sky reception.

It is now a derelict site, with a few ruins, including the worlds first attempt at space flight. They built a perfect rocket out of stones, but couldn’t get it off the ground. Even the invading Vikings tried to help by lighting a fire at the bottom. The rocket didn’t budge, but the monks inside inside certainly took off in a hurry.

Dublin day one

Saturday July 27

We wake after a very good sleep, and have a very nice buffet breakfast. I see black and white pudding in the Bain Marie. I’m keeping my distance.

Saw this menu at the Ballsbridge restaurant. Everything has a health rating. Bizarre.





So we check out of the Ballsbridge Hotel and start the walk to our next hotel.

Luckily it’s an easy walk and a nice day. There are so many Georgian buildings here. Everywhere you look.

 

We check in to the hotel, and have a snooze to catch up on the long day/jet lag, and are ready to meet the tour guide at 1615.

The hotel is called the Mespil. It’s a newer hotel than Ballsbridge, and it has aircon, so it gets a tick from Sarah. Better still, it’s in a great location, surrounded by shops and restaurants, and walking distance to all the must-sees, like Trinity College.

We pile into the bus with the rest of our ‘blue rinse tour’ members for a quick recce around Dublin, finishing at a quaint old Irish pub for dinner. This one is called Nancy Hands, and is literally across the street from the Guinness brewery. Needless to say, a Guinness comes with dinner. I’ve only tried it once in my life. About 30-odd years ago in New Zealand, in a can. I didn’t like it then, so didn’t have high hopes that I would today.

They say that Guinness doesn’t travel well, and it’s the taste that suffers. Well, you certainly won’t find a less-travelled Guinness than at Nancy Hands, so this is how it’s intended to taste.
I actually quite like it, so tick that box. Perhaps I’ll try it again while we’re in Dublin, just to be sure. 

Forget Tipperary, it’s a long way to Dublin

Friday July 26

Well we got here. BA was teasing us by rescheduling it back on time. Then it just kept rolling. To add insult to injury, they wouldn’t post a gate. Eventually they put on screen that it would be boarding from pier C, and a gate would be posted at 1745. By 1810 they had dropped the lie of when they’d choose a gate, and just left it on pier C.

We were starting to get nervous because flights were still being canceled, and ours had all of the hallmarks. By just after 1830 they listed gate 19, so off we went.
They announced that they would be delayed till a 1900 departure. Ya think?

Waiting and waiting. They paged up people with large hand luggage to be checked in FOC. Not a lot of interest. They called us up to stand in our boarding zones, then left us hanging for another ten minutes.

Sarah and I were debating the assorted service failures that we would not tolerate. You can take the boy out of the airport but... No wait. I’m in an airport. As you were.

The boarding process is biometric. Scan your pass and look at the camera, just like smart gate at immigration around the world. I’m trying to remember if they got our photo somewhere in the checkin or security process, so that this one confirms our identity. Otherwise, they’re just storing photos for later use. Don’t you just love big brother?

So eventually we can board. Down an escalator, turn right and then left into an airbridge structure that ran parallel to the face of the building. It had to be 50m long before you entered the drivable end of the airbridge.

How would I improve their process, to get a better OTP and give the punters the sense that they are moving?

So I would start boarding the pax into one side of the airbridge tunnel in either single or double file. This would leave room for the cleaners and staff to move on or off as required. Without exaggeration,  you could fit virtually the entire load of the A321 down the length of the tunnel. I would then have a staff member release them onto the aircraft in groups of, say, 15. As they went off one end, they can board the tail-enders into the other. The added bonus to preloading the tunnel is that you know who has gone through, so by default you know who you’re missing. You could be paging the last person out of the bar while there are still dozens to take their seats onboard. Just sayin’.

We’d sort these buggers out.

We are seated opposite each other. 6C and D. On these regional flights, BA create business class by putting a spacer tray over seats B and E in the first 6 rows. All seats had been prebooked so we got what was left when we checked in.

Because all airlines over here charge a ton for each checked-in economy bag, it was almost the same price to buy 2 business class seats with free bags included as it would have cost to buy 2 economy seats and then pay for 2 checked bags. The bonus was access to the lounge. Given the time we needed to wait, it was a good call.

I don’t know how many times today I heard Sarah say ‘forget staff travel’. This is absolutely true. When you’re on subload travel, you are at the whim of all weather and engineering issues that befall the airport and flights you’re trying to use. Added to that, when you’re on the other side of the world dealing with an airline that’s not yours, you are at the bottom of the food chain. The bottom of the onload list.

I was dozing off every 30 seconds, only to be woken by my head jerking up. It didn’t take long for me to be feeling pretty seedy. I waved off the two meal choices on offer. A juice would be fine. Just needed to stay awake.

Getting off in Dublin felt like getting off in Queenstown. There was also the familiarity of Menzies and Swissport gear parked nearby. And then the walking. Up stairs, down corridors, and eventually down an escalator into a newer part of the building. According to the screen as we enter the arrivals hall, our bags are on belt 2, down the far end. Seriously, is priority not a word over this end of the world? We wait and wait again for the bags.

Once we have our bags, we head outdoors to find our bus. We have already done our PhD on Dublin transport, and a company called Aircoach seems to be the business. The ticket office was literally right outside the door, and we want the bus going to Ballsbridge hotel. That’s route 702, there’s the bus and it leaves in 5. €17 for two tickets one way. I use my Air New Zealand OneSmart currency card for the first of many times. Too easy.

37 minutes by bus, most of it in a very long tunnel. I thought for a time that we were under a harbour, but no. Just underground. There’s a bus stop right outside the hotel.  The stop is named after the hotel, so their is no confusion about which route to choose.

By the way, we chose to stay here because this is one of the two hotels Trafalgar uses in Dublin. Because we were arriving a day early, we wanted to stay at their hotel, to make the transition easy. When we told Trafalgar about this months ago, they told us that this tour would be starting at Ballsbridge Hotel. So we booked it.
When they sent us all the final details a few weeks ago, we see that the tour starts at Mespil hotel. Seriously?!!
Luckily it’s only a13 minute walk.

Ballsbridge is an older property, but very well kept. Tidy room. No aircon, but the window is open for us. Clearly this is unseasonably warm for this side of the planet. There is a nice big radiator under the window for their year-round winters, but that won’t be getting any use for a while.

This one’s for Ripley’s

Believe it or not, I’ve been writing this last post from quite high up in the sky

Gotta love inflight WiFi 

NZ2 part deux

The drive from LAX to LHR was pretty uneventful. Planned for 9.5hrs, we ended up cooling our heels over London and then off the gate for heading towards an hour. Neither of us attempted to sleep, and we are paying for it now.

Once again Sarah had Hindu vegetarian meals, both dinner and breakfast. These were the only two flights in memory that she has been able to eat an airline breakfast. Normally she stocks up on snacks, and then has to declare them because she hasn’t touched any during the flight. She’ll let me know if she wants to try what’s on the menu on the flights home.

Decades ago when I worked in service control, there were literally dozens of special meals, against the scant handful today. I always remember that the first choice on the alphabetical list was a Bland meal. My standard joke was that I thought Bland was the default, so you shouldn’t need to order it.

No?

It was a simpler time then, when the jokes were less appropriate and more appreciated.

Speaking of appropriate:....
One movie I watched onboard was Thor Ragnarok. Directed by a kiwi, he also voiced the funniest character in the movie. Some rock guy, I forgot his name. What was astounding is that he used a completely stereotypical Maori character, the sort of thing Billy T might have done.

My point is that I am astonished that the insidiously invasive culture police didn’t get that character deleted from the movie, for undermining or trivializing something somewhere. The fact that he was absolutely hilarious, and could kick-start a new income stream from comedy culture tourism would be meaningless to these terminally humorless dicks.

Anyway...

Good seats, good crew, good food. What exactly do people have to bitch about?

By the way, I had the Impossible Burger. That’s the one that all of the beef ranchers had apoplexy about. Looks like a meat patty. Smells like a meat patty. Tastes like a meat patty. Made from grass clippings and recycled drip-trays. Or something. And it’s true. There is absolutely no way you could tell it’s not really a cow-burger.

So we eventually landed in London. Smartgate made processing quick, even though every second set was closed.

Again premium bags were the last ones off, and we walked out.

As our tour officially begins in Ireland, we have a flight tonight on BA to Dublin. We booked it for 1830 in case there was a delay with the NZ flight. With the delay, we were landside by 1215. There is a free train to terminal 5 (for our BA flight), but nobody told us we’d have to walk with our bags to Oxford to catch it!!! I’m sorry but fuck that’s a long way. At least I now have some ammunition for next time some paraplegic with a flat tire whines about the distance to gate 5.

To add to our weariness, there have been a raft of weather related cancellations out of Heathrow today. Ours is still going, but it’s delayed by over an hour. By the time we get to our hotel in Dublin, we’ll be lucky if we’re in bed by midnight. Local time. That’s about 0900 Saturday in NZ. That’s also about 1600 Friday in LA. We got up in LA about 0800 on Thursday.

Check in at terminal 5 seems a little chaotic to us. First you are directed to get your boarding passes from a kiosk. Then you must join a queue to drop your bag. There is a staff member at each bagdrop location, who will print and attach your bagtags. Maybe they have a rule about not letting the great unwashed print their own tags.

Then it’s through security into the departure lounge.

There’s still a couple of hours to sit on our hands. At least we’re in the BA business class lounge while we wait. It was god awful full when we arrived, but it’s thinning out now.
Suddenly the Koru Lounge looks pretty bloody good.

I think I’ll sleep well tonight. Let’s just hope there are no further delays.

That never happens, right?

Lax Angeles

I can’t call LA a shit hole this time, because I didn’t see it.

Off the plane, catch the shuttle to the hotel, and then shuttle back to the airport next day. Budda bing. Budda boom.

We did notice two things. First, priority bags obviously come out last. Second, all the airport staff, including customs and TSA, were helpful and friendly. I know, right?

The LAXLHR flight opens for check-in at 1315, and we got to the terminal about an hour early. Not a lot to do on this side of security.

Check-in was painless, TSA was more tolerable than we remember, and we made our way to the Star Alliance Lounge. Nice. Food selection not amazing, but a comfortable lounge, with a cute rooftop patio for those who needed one last toke of Los Angeles air.

The bathroom was an experience, and perhaps not for those readers of a delicate constitution.
But for the rest of you, don’t blame me if you have a couple of new images that invade your dreams tonight.

For those old enough to have seen an episode of  “Some mothers do have ‘em” called ‘Visiting the Brother in Law’, you may know where this is headed.

Automatic toilets are a wonderful invention. The sensor decides when you have finished, and flushes for you. Nice. Unfortunately, this all depends on where you are and what you’re doing. To maximize the efficiency of these very small rooms requires the preparation of a museum heist. You need to know where to stand without triggering the flush reflex. Are there invisible beams that mustn’t be broken?

Anyway, when I entered the claustrophobic cubicle, I noticed a dispenser for toilet seat covers. I have never used them before.
Whenever we’re in a supermarket, Sarah calls herself the perfect shopper. Always keen to try some new product. I think of it as a magpie attribute myself.

Anyway, when in Rome.

So I pull one out and figure out which way it goes. I remember being told once that the middle bit hangs down, so that it gets flushed away with everything else. So I position it delicately, and start making preparations to take my seat.
No sooner had I turned my back on it, than I heard the flush. I must have broken one of those invisible Tom Cruise laser beams.
And I turn around again, just in time to see the seat cover disappearing into oblivion. Just as it was designed to do. Crap!

NZ2

Travel time to the gate was estimated to be about 19 minutes, give or take. There was going to be additional security before boarding, so Sarah wanted to head off about 30 minutes before the ‘published’ boarding time. Yes, I know, I know.

NZ2 departs from gate 18, which is just past where the Emirates slugs depart from. Luckily, there are many travelators to make you think you are saving time.

Have you ever traveled on the Airbus A380 slug? It’s pretty boring.
The big difference between the A320 and the classic Boeing 737, is that the Airbus has more plastic. LOTS more plastic. I don’t know if that makes it more or less recyclable than a 737. To the passenger, the biggest difference is that the Airbus overhead lockers rattle and squeak more than the 737’s. When Airbus released their slug, sorry the A380, the proudly trumpeted that the insulation was so good that you didn’t hear the engine noise. So instead of the engine noise drowning out the rattle bins on the A320, there was just you and the bins on the 380. Pointless.

The security check involves the normal questions you would be asked at an old-school check-in. Because we would only be in the United States of Trump for 24hrs, there were no more questions.

So we found two seats and sat in the gate lounge for about an hour. Unsurprisingly, the flight was late boarding. The crew got there about the same time we did.

Eventually it was time to board, so we got ourselves settled in to row 1. I’ve said before that I’m not a fan of the insular nature of the Air New Zealand business class, but I certainly would not have chosen to do this 12.5hrs in peasant class.

I cannot believe how many people choose to fly from regional New Zealand, via Auckland and all the way to London, with just a couple of hours compulsory exercise in LAX. And all the way in a cramped economy seat. It’s all very well for airlines to open new routes involving up to 17hrs in one sector, but most passengers on board will be in economy. Kill me now.

I have said before that Sarah developed Tourette’s when she got her job. Ask her if she would fly to London in one day, even in business class, and her answer is succinct. Fuck Off.

One thing that really makes a difference, particularly for the Facebook generation, is wifi. Onboard wifi is new to Air New Zealand. When it came out, they toyed with a P.A.Y.G system, but quickly settled on providing it as a free service.

My brother-in-law travels a lot, first on Qantas, and more recently on Emirates. He very proudly told us that in Emirates First Class he gets 2hrs free wifi. Oh, I’m sorry. Air New Zealand gives you free wifi from the moment you take off till they pry your fat arse out of your seat at the other end.

Sarah got particularly good use out of wifi talking to staff, family and friends throughout the parts of the flight when she wasn’t asleep.
For those who have iPhones, iMessage is available. For lesser mortals, she uses WhatsApp or WeChat. It certainly makes the flight less isolated these days.

I’ve heard less than glowing reports from staff who have traveled in business on long-ish haul flights recently, so I was a bit apprehensive. I shouldn’t have been. The seats are always comfortable, the IFE is more responsive than any other airlines I’m aware of, the staff were attentive without being sycophantic.

The food has probably changed over the years. The first time I flew to LAX, we were in business class on Qantas. The meal service appeared to be never-ending, with course after course. I may have mentioned it in one of my earliest posts. The thing that stood out for me was being served fruit salad. Down at the blunt end, it would be a pre-measured portion from Mr Watties. Don’t get me wrong. I love Mr Watties fruit salad. I grew up on it and would choose that any day of the week. But up the pointy end, this is a hand cut fruit salad, and it is served to me with tongs, one piece at a time.

Anyway, things have moved on. The business meal is still substantial enough, but not as expansive as it once was. Like many restaurants, some airlines seem to have moved to the healthier small plate philosophy. I imagine most people in business class just had something to eat in the lounge, so that they could maximize their sleeping time. Something light onboard, and we’re good to settle down.

Obviously, this ‘economised’ business class meal service will not appeal to all. Sarah overheard the woman behind her telling the crew that she was a guest of the airline for some reason or other. She then went on to complain that, because she had been busy in meetings all day, she didn’t have the chance to go to the lounge for something to eat. As a result, the onboard menu wasn’t quite enough for her. I saw her later after she changed into her stretchy “if it fits me it suits me” sleeping attire. Trust me, a more substantial meal would have done her no favours.

Another complaint I have heard is about ‘special’ meals.

Seriously! People use this feature in their booking profile as some kind of self-aggrandizement.
Oh, look at me. I got my meal personally delivered, before all of you peasants. How special am I?
And then they whine about what they don’t get on their tray, and the crew won’t let them have a ‘normal’ meal.
Don’t they realise that airlines go to the trouble and expense of making these meals for dietary reasons, not for the terminally trendy fuckwits.

Sarah chose a Hindu Vegitarian meal, and loved it. Her problem is with her self-imposed aversion to some foods. As a result, most breakfast is outside her scope. 

First leg: Tick

Everything has been painless so far.

Got an early flight from Christchurch to Auckland. Just don’t trust the weather at the moment, so it’s better to be bored in Auckland than shitting ourselves in Christchurch.

Bags are tagged to Lax Angeles, so just a stroll across to the international terminal. Somebody told me that they are preparing the foundation for the new domestic to the international terminal, but I could see no sign of it. Best they get on with it.

Those of us who are intimately involved with Christchurch airport are painfully aware of its shortcomings. But by comparison, Auckland international terminal is just a shit hole. Seriously, this is the first thing international visitors see?

I know that I normally reserve the term shit hole for LA, and that still stands, from a city perspective. But for an international gateway airport, Auckland is just embarrassing.

For clarity, I’m referring to what is called landside, the parts open to the public. That includes the overcrowded check-in area and the slum-worthy food court.

Needless to say, we head through to airside pretty sharpish.

The entrance to customs has been redesigned, again, and it’s pretty nice. Then there is the new and improved AVSEC security check. A big chunk of real estate is used up in the roller coaster ride that is the journey of the bins to drop your iPads and lip balms into. No, maybe it’s more like the journey of your bowling ball as it is returned to you. There’s a big sweeping arc for the bins. Sorry for all the similes with the AvSec trays. Roller coaster. Bowling ball return. It even reminds me of a sushi train. I wonder if the guy that designed it was thinking about all of those things as well. Describing the mechanics takes longer than the process itself, so let’s move on.

The Immigration process is pretty standard now around the world of modern airports. Slide your passport in, look at the camera, move along please.

The international departure lounge at Auckland is also pretty modern and same-same with all the others. Lots of shiny things to attract the magpies.

Find our way to the Koru Lounge, and we can relax for a couple of hours. This is the first time I’ve been to this new lounge, and it’s nice. Bigger than the last one. Not many in the lounge, so we change seats a couple of times to find a good location. It fills quickly, so I’m glad we ‘nested’ first.

A New Day

It feels like we’ve been planning this forever. Sarah’s big trip to the UK.

There were always other shiny new destinations that caught her attention. Does that make her sound like a magpie? Mmmm, perhaps.

Sarah is one of these full immersion types. Do it once and do it all.

So after China, the planning began. England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland. The full set.

After months of tedious (for the reader. Personally, I loved every minute of it) planning, we had an itinerary:

Sarah found a guided tour of Ireland and Scotland that covers everything we had decided to see. So that is booked with Trafalgar Tours. It starts in Dublin and ends 15 days later in Edinburgh. As luck would have it, it includes tickets to the Edinburgh Tattoo before we finish. Oh goody.

Let’s be honest, it’s not something that I would have crossed the road to see, but as a very wise soul once said, I’ll just have to “suck it up”.

So, after the tour, we pick up a rental car, and do the rest as self-drive.

The weird thing is that, in the entire UK, most rental cars, so I guess most cars, are manual. Bazaar.

We find a pretty reasonable rental company that operates pretty much worldwide. Rentalcars.com.

We used them on a weekend trip to Queenstown, and I was pretty happy with how that worked. Basically, they are a broker, and arrange the rental through a good value local company. So I guess this big trip will be the test.

As I was saying, most rental cars are manual over there, and I’m used to an automatic now.

Two little segways:

I always had manual cars, and was more than happy to stay that way. As many of you may be aware, Sarah came supplied without a drivers licence. Never saw the need.

A few years ago, I broached the subject of teaching her how to drive. Foolishly, I laid out my cunning plan; start learning in an automatic car, to get comfortable with Starting, Stopping and Steering. Then move on to a manual vehicle, to learn the intricacies of the clutch and gearbox.

Barely had I completed the sentence and Sarah says “OK we’ll get an automatic car”.

No, that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just a transition during training. Clearly she had moved on to a different topic. Decision made. Righto then. 

So my next car was an automatic. And every one since.

I know what you’re thinking. Did she let you teach her how to Start, Stop and Steer?

Don’t be ridiculous!

Segway part deux;

We did a weekend recently to Waiheke Island. Anyone who has been there (and I recommend you do), will know that transport is somewhat essential. So, Sarah was in charge of the planning, and she had organised for the rental car rep to meet us at the ferry terminal with our car. On the ferry over, she casually asked “you can drive manual, right?” Sheesh!

When we arrived, the guy was there with ‘our car’.

It was one of those 30-plus year old, tiny Daihatsu overlockers with the rattly gearboxes. Oy vey! Probably the oldest car registered on the island. I suspect that the only way it gets a warrant is because the rental/car sales company that owns the car is either also a service station, or they are related to the service station owner.

Or maybe I’m being unkind.

Back to this trip.

Sarah says get an automatic. We don’t want problems on the British roads because you’re in a manual car. So, Alzheimer’s then? Will I get confused and drive into the Thames?

You know that no husband ever asks questions like that, don’t you?

OK so I scroll down to find automatic cars.

Literally the very first automatic available at Edinburgh to rent, is a Jaguar XE!

Being unfamiliar with the Jaguar pedigree, I can only assume that this will be a little bit posh.

I do notice, however, that it does say “or similar” is a slightly smaller font. I wait with anticip...

...pation to see what I get.

Knowing my luck, it’ll be a 30 year old fucking Daihatsu knitting machine with a dodgy automatic gearbox.

I’ll let you know.

Now, assuming the car is functional, we will be heading south into England. Stopping for a night in the Lake District, we will have a zip around that area, and probably checkout a couple of, well, lakes, I suppose.

Then it’s down to see a couple of stately homes that were used in the filming of a couple of “Pride and Prejudice” movies.

You will see a pattern here.

After a bit of zigging and zagging, we will be stopping at a place called Port Isaac. This is the village used to film Doc Martin.

Then it’s down the coast to see some locations for Poldark.

Then heading back up towards London, we will stop to check out Hiclere Castle. To aficionados of women’s tv drama, this is the location for Downton Abbey. 

Are we spotting a theme here?

Oddly, we are driving right past Manchester. I had planned to stop there, but she’s not interested. 

You do know that’s where Corro Street is filmed. Couldn’t be less interested. 

Now for those of us with superior tastes in drama, this would be a given. 

But Sarah is the one who has been recording and watching BOTH the new, up-to-date episodes, AND the catch-up-from-where-we-jumped-forward episodes. For over a year!

And yet she’s not interested in walking on ‘the cobbles’. 

No complaints here. 

So, after Downton we stopped at Windsor for tea and scones with Meagan, and then dropping the car at Heathrow. 

On the train to the city, and about 7 days cramming everything Sarah wants to see. 

This time

So back at the airport. Again.

Too early for Check-in. Again.

Oh well, a new day.


We head up to the mezanine in T2 where there are a couple of restaurants, and have breakfast.

We are first in line when the Air New Zealand counters open.

While we're waiting, we saw a crew for Aeroflot checking in. Very bright uniforms.

This was on the counter. I have no idea what it says. Maybe I missed the chance to win a trip to New Zealand.

I may never know.
















We got some good economy seats, with the chance of better seats at the gate.
At least now we can go through Avseco and Customs. Having done a couple of laps of the checkin hall, there is nothing left to see here.

Through the formalities, there are shops in both directions. Being a Koru member, I have access to the China Airlines lounge, so we head on upstairs to that. A relaxed sit down and a juice is just what the doctor ordered.

We then set off to look at the shops.

Lots of souvenirs. Tea, silk, biscuits.
Sarah is looking in a silk shop at some tops, so I wander around a bit.
Lo and behold, at the other end of that same shop, is a table with slippers.
You guessed it, they are exactly the ones Sarah has been looking for all over Bangkok, Hanoi and Hong Kong. And yes, the same ones we saw at the gardens yesterday when we didn't bother taking cash.

So she comes on over, and finds herself a few pairs to buy. At last!

Heading towards our gate, we see the crew coming. I recognise the vice-captain, who is from Christchurch. We have a quick chat, until he has to catch up with the rest of the Flight Crew.
Then the Cabin Crew come through, and I recognise one hostie also from Christchurch.

I find out later that only NZ based Tech and ISMs do this flight. The rest of the cabin crew is Shanghai based.

Just before boarding, I go up to the gate staff, and they have new seats for us. Nice.

To be honest, I have never been a fan of Air New Zealand's business class seats, in their herringbone configuration. Very insular. Not really geared for couples conversation. Do you sit in the same 'row' face each other feet to feet and talk across the aisle, or adjascent rows so that one gets a sore neck turning to talk over their shoulder?
But then, they are called BUSINESS class, after all. I guess the demographic is the single travelling businessman. Either that or couples happy to spend a few hours close but not talking.

Let me clarify this criticism, because it is just a personal thing.

The business class seat is very cleverly designed. The footstool that I use to recline for the flight, can be used for somebody to sit on while visiting. In fact, with your meal tray in place, you can sit up, while the wife (or hubby) parks opposite you at the same 'table', on the stool. A very practical way for a couple to share a meal.
Also, the seats do not fully recline to the famous 'flat-bed' that other airlines trumpet. To get your flat-bed, you need to stand up, hit the button so that your seat back flips forward to create a fully flat bed. One of the cabin crew now materializes with a duvet and pillow.

So my criticism is that I have to make a decision to change my position:
I must decide to go and sit with Sarah to eat, or I must decide to go to bed.
I prefer the old-style business class seats, where we are side-by-side. We can chat whenever we like, during a movie or during a meal. I can also recline as far as I want, while still watching my movie.
The big thing is that I may just nod off whenever I need to. I don't need to make the decision to 'go to bed', in the old style seats.
Yes I know you can move the screen around to watch while 'in bed'. But that's not the point.
The more I write this, the more petty it seems. Let's just finish with this. I love how clever the Air New Zealand Business Premier seats are. I love all of the features and nooks and crannies that are within reach, even when I forget where I put the bottle of water. But I also like to be able to glance over and see Sarah's pretty face while she sleeps.

And drools onto her new blouse. Hilarious!

This was going to be a fairly long flight, and I was very grateful to be parked up the sharp end.

Since I last traveled at this end of the bus, there have been improvements.
The seat seems more padded, along with the mattress. The inflight kit is really nice. It wasn't for a long time. Ive always liked our Inflight entertainment system, and this is even better. Better than any other carrier I've traveled on. Ever.

It's often the simple things that entertain me. One thing that makes me smile with the Air New Zealand IFE, is the map.
Traditionally, and still on most aircraft around the world, the map was a clunky, lo-res image, that would scroll through perhaps 3-4 screens. World, closer to the aircraft, then speed, time and altitude.
On the Air New Zealand map, it's like using google maps on an iPad. See the plane? Then just zoom in with your fingers.
I think the trick is that the screens on Air New Zealand aircraft are not only better resolution, but the touch control is as sensitive as an iPad. The old system would be touch screen, but only just. How often do you tap the onscreen button to do something, only to wait to see if it registered? Hit it a few more times to get a reaction, and the system will just as likely crash as respond.

Anyway, the flight back home was not only a huge relief after last night, but also a very comfortable and impressive experience. It helps that I could alleviate the age old 'numb bum' issue by spending the entire flight with my seat reclined and my feet up. The only exception to this was when dinner was served.

The crew is great. The Shanghai-based staff were very attentive and friendly. Both ISMs stopped by for a chat. Not only Beverley from Christchurch, but the senior ISM wanted to chat with Sarah about our tour experiences. She is planning to bring her teenagers to China. She already knows Shanghai well, but was interested in how to do the rest. Wendy Wu and our friend Ricky got glowing reports.

Also, Murray the vice-captain came back for a chat. He was amused by our 'adventure' last night.

Sure, it doesn't hurt that I know two of the staff onboard, but the reality is that all of the staff, unlike so many crews on so many airlines, went out of their way to be friendly and helpful.

Too often, crews over time have tended to forget why they entered the industry. They have forgotten that a 12hr flight may be a once-in-a-lifetime experience for many, or even a once-a-year holiday for the more fortunate. Every element of every flight will impact, layer upon layer, the collective experience of each passenger. For many crew members, however, it's just another day at the office.
Because of all of that, when you hit the crew button at hour seven to get a drink, nothing. No answer.

Too many have deserved the title of "Marie Celeste Airways", for going hours with no visible crew.

But that's not this flight. That's not this crew. We had probably the best long-haul experience we've ever had. And we've had a few over the years.

Last day in Shanghai, Part Deux

We survived the night, and went down to breakfast.

Its a buffet, and consists of congee and steamed buns.
Not hungry.

We wait in the foyer for our shuttle. I have wifi access, so can use the translator on my phone.

Fun fact:

• Google is website non grata in China. 
• As a result, Google translator won't work.
• There are many translators in the app store.
• Many of them use Google translator to do the heavy lifting.
• Best look into what drives you translator of choice before parachuting behind the lines.

Using my Chinese government-approved translator, I asked the reception staff to get us on the next shuttle. They told me we had booked the 1000 shuttle. It was about 0600. We are asked to wait.

In the foyer is a sign about shuttle services to Shanghai Disneyland. We must be close.

We saw what may have been the hotel shuttle pull up, and the driver came in and headed in for breakfast.

A while later, he comes out, followed by a couple of tourists. They get into the van. I look at reception. Nothing.

I go up to reception and show them my translator.

"Is that the shuttle?"

"OH!!!!" She trots off and catches the driver as he's about to drive off. 

We get our ride to the airport. T2. Air New Zealand.

Just One Night

While we toyed with the idea of flying to Singapore at midnight, we went to terminal 2, where SQ and NZ fly from.

Terminals 1 and 2 are huge, and sit in parallel, perhaps 2 km apart. between them is a hotel. There is no clear signage, but we eventually found the walkway to the hotel, so off we go.

A long walk later, we come to the lifts to the hotel. Staff at the lift say the hotel is full, but that shopfront over there will find you another. Sarah has a bad feeling, but we don't have a lot of choices.

They show us a nearby hotel that offers breakfast and wifi, for 988 yan for the night. Its's called Lavande, and we haven't heard of it. We decide to go with it anyway.

We pays the money and are directed to a van to take us to the hotel. Maybe it won't be so bad after all.

Into the van with a few others, and soon we are on the road. I remember thinking as we drove away from the airport, that we should have been sitting comfortably in our seat onboard as the aircraft pushed back, right about that time. Ah well.

We pull up, and are directed into the foyer.

Sarah makes a comment to me. THIS IS NOT THE HOTEL WE PAID FOR

We try to talk to the receptionist but she doesn't speak English.
You may recall that I chose not to get a sim or go roaming at the beginning of this trip, right?
Right about now I'm reconsidering the value of that saving.

Luckily, the receptionist has a translator on her phone, so we begin an awkward back and forth trying to communicate our issues.
Sarah is quite clear.
   THIS IS NOT THE HOTEL WE PAID FOR
   THIS IS NOT THE HOTEL WE PAID FOR
   THIS IS NOT THE HOTEL WE PAID FOR

We need to go back to the airport. We need to go back to where everything went sideways, and get it fixed.
She was telling us that the room was non-refundable, and that we would have to pay for our own taxi back to the airport.
Eventually, we made her understand that this wasn't just us not liking the hotel we paid for. She told me that a room in this hotel costs 288 yuan. I told her that we paid 988 yuan for another hotel. Sarah remembered the name of the hotel we paid for, and showed it to the receptionist.
She said the Lavande in a different town. Oh goody.

We took a time out, and wanted food. Sarah gets grumpy when she's hungry.
You know that line in The Incredible Hulk where Banner says "You won't like ne when I'm angry"?

Well, that's Sarah when she's hungry.

Next door was a restaurant, so we go in and try to order a quick meal. The cooks have finished, so that's not going to happen. Oh dear!!

Back to the 'hotel'.
The receptionist tells me, via the phone, to please wait. The shuttle will be here soon.

OK, so at last she understood, and we would be going back to that shopfront in the hotel basement who took our money.

In a few minutes, a driver arrived, and ushered us and our luggage into his van.

Can you imagine, its about 9pm, in what looks like a rural area near Shanghai airport. We're in a van, with a driver who doesn't speak English, and we have no idea where he's taking us. That last intersection had a sign to the airport, and we didn't turn.
I'd call this a 4.3 on the sphyncter scale.

After five minutes of angsting, we turn into the carpark of ... The Lavande!!

We were not expecting that.

Huge relief.

OK so we eventually arrive at the right hotel, and check in.
We never got to go up and see what the room was like in the 288 yuan hotel, but the 988 yuan hotel is not very flash. Beyond tired.

Complementary slippers, water, tissues and condoms

This place at least has a restaurant, and its still open. Sarah gets some food. Crisis averted.

Shanghai Airport

Qantas leaves from Terminal 1, so that's where we go.

Unsurprisingly, we were too early for check-in, so we explored.

We knew there were a few spare seats in all classes on the SHA-SYD flight, so were relaxed about our evening.

When check-in opened, we did our thing, and were put on stsndby. Another hour of loitering, and we went back for our seats.

"Sorry but we are not onloading any staff tonight"

Apparently dodgy weather in Sydney means extra fuel. Suddenly no spare seats. Bugger.

We think about getting tickets to Singapore, and spending a few days with Sarah's sister.
That doesn't pan out, so I ring home office, to see what the Air New Zealand flight is like tomorrow afternoon. Wide open, cool.

Next step is to find a room for the night.
It'll take too long to go back into the city, so lets look nearby.

Just to be clear. This is the point when it all started turning to shit. Just saying...

Last day in Shanghai

I mentioned before that hotel check-out in this country seems to be 1200. That's very generous, when most countries it's 1000.

As our flight out was leaving at 2000 tonight, our pickup was booked for about 1530. We expect to be sitting on our hands at the airport, but we may get lucky.

With that in mind, I asked reception for a late check-out. They offered 1400, so we had a very leisurely morning.

We get picked up by another Buik. Looks the same as the one that dropped us at this hotel 2 days ago, but it was a different provider. Obviously, this is a popular car in the people-moving business in Shanghai.
I think it seats about 7 or 9 in comfort.

In Beijing, the VW was a very popular car, and we did see many European cars in both cities. Xi'an was a little behind them, but there were still a few nice cars on the road.

We did notice that all vehicles on the road are quite modern. I asked Ricky about this in Beijing. He didn't know of any legal limitation like Singapore, but did suggest that the testing process may be too rigorous for older vehicles. Just another preconception about China getting blown out of the water, thanks.
As mentioned earlier, our standard point of reference when thinking about anything approaching a 3rd world country, will always be Bangladesh. We have been there a lot, and it really is the poster child for the 3rd world. Sorry.

Anyway, the testing regimen for seeing if a bus is sturdy enough to be safe on the streets of Dhaka, seems to be tipping it off a cliff. If it survived the fall, it is good for the road.
Anybody who has been there will agree that all buses, new and old, do not have a single panel in factory condition. Beaten. Battered. Rusty. And that's the newer ones.

Day Tour

After lunch, we were ready for a quick once over of Shanghai.

As I said at the beginning, all the stuff people want to see is either in Beijing or Xi'an.
The only thing I had heard about in Shanghai was Disneyland. It didn't take much research to realise that Disney would be over-run with queues up the wazoo. Talk about free Chinese massage!!

Avoid!

Figured a quick tour would catch the high points before we head home tomorrow.

We get picked up by Frank (another traditional name) and his driver, and we are off.

First on the agenda was an area with traditional townhouses converted into a modern area overflowing with upscale cafes and restaurants.

Oh yes. That's Frank

This area rolls into the French Quarter.

It is really cool!
We may have been a tad hasty. If we came back to Shanghai, I would definitely stay in this area. Lunch and dinner in a different cafe every day. Such a beautiful restoration. Impressive.

Oh look. Bikes in China!

The yellow ones are the rentals. Unlock with the app, and ride off.

Like I said, they are very advanced in many areas.

Next stop was a garden in the middle of the city.

 Bit of a hike through some very old buildings

 The further in you get, the more people.

Free Chinese Massage

Crazy zig-zag bridge into the garden.

Made it! And this is just the entrance...

 Beautifully tranquil.

You don't even notice all the people in this place.

Just beautifully done

Remember what I said a while ago about tours? There is always shopping.
Guess what? Sarah forgot this simple rule. Somehow we thought that this would be a drive around the city, looking at views and buildings. Somehow we thought that we wouldn't be getting out of the van for the four hours, so didn't bring any cash. Amateurs!!

In the middle of the garden is a quaint little souvenir shop with lots of good quality products.
It seems that government-run venues have the good souvenirs. Outside on the streets is where you find the crap.

There is some kind of irony that the Chinese government is struggling to reduce the manufacture of knock-off souvenirs, while the rest of the world sees China as the knock-off capital of the world.

So having elected not bring cash, we find a few things we may have bought.
There is a guy there who does amazingly detailed landscapes with his fingers. No brushes, just skin and fingernails. We watched him for a while. His pictures are pretty reasonably priced too.

And then there are the slippers!

A few years ago, Sarah found some cute silk slippers in the MBK market in Bangkok.
In Stanley market in Hong Kong, she found some more.
Next time we went back to Bangkok, she found the same stall and got another couple of pairs.

Sounds like a lot, right? But like the scarves, she gives them as presents. And she wears them almost every day around the house.

Anyway, on our next Bangkok visit, no stall, and no Chinese silk slippers to be found.
And so it went on. Every possible silk shop we went past anywhere in Asia, she would have a look.
No luck.

And then, in this shop, where we have no cash, we see some. Bugger!!

So we go back to the van, Sarah cursing and me chuckling.
Now I know that sounds unkind, but to be fair, its a rare opportunity.
Anybody who knows Sarah, will know that she doesn't make mistakes.
Human or otherwise.

So when I get the chance to say "I told you so", even when I didn't? Gold.

After this garden, we go to look at The Bund.
We are staying over the river, so Frank takes us to the other side of the river, on the old side.
There are some beautiful buildings on this side, counterpoint to the sky-hugging edifices on the new side. While we are on the waterfront, Frank takes us to a pearl wholesaler, who has some jewelry to show us. Sorry not interested in pearl jewelry, but there are some beautiful pieces there.

He wanted to take us to a tea ceremony and a jade outlet, but we did that in Beijing.

As we were the only occupants of this afternoons tour, we finished early.

So that is Shanghai.
We surprised ourselves, and really liked it. I think we will come back.