(I'm the one next to the old guy)

Saturday, July 27, 2019

NZ2 part deux

The drive from LAX to LHR was pretty uneventful. Planned for 9.5hrs, we ended up cooling our heels over London and then off the gate for heading towards an hour. Neither of us attempted to sleep, and we are paying for it now.

Once again Sarah had Hindu vegetarian meals, both dinner and breakfast. These were the only two flights in memory that she has been able to eat an airline breakfast. Normally she stocks up on snacks, and then has to declare them because she hasn’t touched any during the flight. She’ll let me know if she wants to try what’s on the menu on the flights home.

Decades ago when I worked in service control, there were literally dozens of special meals, against the scant handful today. I always remember that the first choice on the alphabetical list was a Bland meal. My standard joke was that I thought Bland was the default, so you shouldn’t need to order it.

No?

It was a simpler time then, when the jokes were less appropriate and more appreciated.

Speaking of appropriate:....
One movie I watched onboard was Thor Ragnarok. Directed by a kiwi, he also voiced the funniest character in the movie. Some rock guy, I forgot his name. What was astounding is that he used a completely stereotypical Maori character, the sort of thing Billy T might have done.

My point is that I am astonished that the insidiously invasive culture police didn’t get that character deleted from the movie, for undermining or trivializing something somewhere. The fact that he was absolutely hilarious, and could kick-start a new income stream from comedy culture tourism would be meaningless to these terminally humorless dicks.

Anyway...

Good seats, good crew, good food. What exactly do people have to bitch about?

By the way, I had the Impossible Burger. That’s the one that all of the beef ranchers had apoplexy about. Looks like a meat patty. Smells like a meat patty. Tastes like a meat patty. Made from grass clippings and recycled drip-trays. Or something. And it’s true. There is absolutely no way you could tell it’s not really a cow-burger.

So we eventually landed in London. Smartgate made processing quick, even though every second set was closed.

Again premium bags were the last ones off, and we walked out.

As our tour officially begins in Ireland, we have a flight tonight on BA to Dublin. We booked it for 1830 in case there was a delay with the NZ flight. With the delay, we were landside by 1215. There is a free train to terminal 5 (for our BA flight), but nobody told us we’d have to walk with our bags to Oxford to catch it!!! I’m sorry but fuck that’s a long way. At least I now have some ammunition for next time some paraplegic with a flat tire whines about the distance to gate 5.

To add to our weariness, there have been a raft of weather related cancellations out of Heathrow today. Ours is still going, but it’s delayed by over an hour. By the time we get to our hotel in Dublin, we’ll be lucky if we’re in bed by midnight. Local time. That’s about 0900 Saturday in NZ. That’s also about 1600 Friday in LA. We got up in LA about 0800 on Thursday.

Check in at terminal 5 seems a little chaotic to us. First you are directed to get your boarding passes from a kiosk. Then you must join a queue to drop your bag. There is a staff member at each bagdrop location, who will print and attach your bagtags. Maybe they have a rule about not letting the great unwashed print their own tags.

Then it’s through security into the departure lounge.

There’s still a couple of hours to sit on our hands. At least we’re in the BA business class lounge while we wait. It was god awful full when we arrived, but it’s thinning out now.
Suddenly the Koru Lounge looks pretty bloody good.

I think I’ll sleep well tonight. Let’s just hope there are no further delays.

That never happens, right?

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