I can’t call LA a shit hole this time, because I didn’t see it.
Off the plane, catch the shuttle to the hotel, and then shuttle back to the airport next day. Budda bing. Budda boom.
We did notice two things. First, priority bags obviously come out last. Second, all the airport staff, including customs and TSA, were helpful and friendly. I know, right?
The LAXLHR flight opens for check-in at 1315, and we got to the terminal about an hour early. Not a lot to do on this side of security.
Check-in was painless, TSA was more tolerable than we remember, and we made our way to the Star Alliance Lounge. Nice. Food selection not amazing, but a comfortable lounge, with a cute rooftop patio for those who needed one last toke of Los Angeles air.
The bathroom was an experience, and perhaps not for those readers of a delicate constitution.
But for the rest of you, don’t blame me if you have a couple of new images that invade your dreams tonight.
For those old enough to have seen an episode of “Some mothers do have ‘em” called ‘Visiting the Brother in Law’, you may know where this is headed.
Automatic toilets are a wonderful invention. The sensor decides when you have finished, and flushes for you. Nice. Unfortunately, this all depends on where you are and what you’re doing. To maximize the efficiency of these very small rooms requires the preparation of a museum heist. You need to know where to stand without triggering the flush reflex. Are there invisible beams that mustn’t be broken?
Anyway, when I entered the claustrophobic cubicle, I noticed a dispenser for toilet seat covers. I have never used them before.
Whenever we’re in a supermarket, Sarah calls herself the perfect shopper. Always keen to try some new product. I think of it as a magpie attribute myself.
Anyway, when in Rome.
So I pull one out and figure out which way it goes. I remember being told once that the middle bit hangs down, so that it gets flushed away with everything else. So I position it delicately, and start making preparations to take my seat.
No sooner had I turned my back on it, than I heard the flush. I must have broken one of those invisible Tom Cruise laser beams.
And I turn around again, just in time to see the seat cover disappearing into oblivion. Just as it was designed to do. Crap!
Off the plane, catch the shuttle to the hotel, and then shuttle back to the airport next day. Budda bing. Budda boom.
We did notice two things. First, priority bags obviously come out last. Second, all the airport staff, including customs and TSA, were helpful and friendly. I know, right?
The LAXLHR flight opens for check-in at 1315, and we got to the terminal about an hour early. Not a lot to do on this side of security.
Check-in was painless, TSA was more tolerable than we remember, and we made our way to the Star Alliance Lounge. Nice. Food selection not amazing, but a comfortable lounge, with a cute rooftop patio for those who needed one last toke of Los Angeles air.
The bathroom was an experience, and perhaps not for those readers of a delicate constitution.
But for the rest of you, don’t blame me if you have a couple of new images that invade your dreams tonight.
For those old enough to have seen an episode of “Some mothers do have ‘em” called ‘Visiting the Brother in Law’, you may know where this is headed.
Automatic toilets are a wonderful invention. The sensor decides when you have finished, and flushes for you. Nice. Unfortunately, this all depends on where you are and what you’re doing. To maximize the efficiency of these very small rooms requires the preparation of a museum heist. You need to know where to stand without triggering the flush reflex. Are there invisible beams that mustn’t be broken?
Anyway, when I entered the claustrophobic cubicle, I noticed a dispenser for toilet seat covers. I have never used them before.
Whenever we’re in a supermarket, Sarah calls herself the perfect shopper. Always keen to try some new product. I think of it as a magpie attribute myself.
Anyway, when in Rome.
So I pull one out and figure out which way it goes. I remember being told once that the middle bit hangs down, so that it gets flushed away with everything else. So I position it delicately, and start making preparations to take my seat.
No sooner had I turned my back on it, than I heard the flush. I must have broken one of those invisible Tom Cruise laser beams.
And I turn around again, just in time to see the seat cover disappearing into oblivion. Just as it was designed to do. Crap!
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