(I'm the one next to the old guy)

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Killarney day 2

Wednesday July 31

This morning we’re off on a day trip, on a scenic route caller ‘The Ring of Kerry’. I guess I could do something with that, but I imagine none of the three Kerry’s I work with would thank me for it.

Stay tuned.
Didn’t bother to take the optional buggy ride into the park/forest this morning. We walked past them at that first castle yesterday, and there is a permeating stench of what happens to the oats after the horse has finished with them. We noticed the same familiar pong around the clydesdales last night. So I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend about an hour parked 6 feet behind the business end of a well fed horse.

Stopped a few times, and went through some oddly named and just odd wee villages.

There was the Red Fox Bar, which had rebuilt a historic bog village.

A little context. These were the huts built by and for the poorest people in Ireland. They lived remote lives, away from what was to become ‘civilization’. Built from the earth and what is on the earth.

An interesting detail of this area. They are called bog villages, because they are built literally on the big. It appears that for great tracts of this part of the country, there is rock and there is bog. Now the bog itself, is made up of rotten vegetation. Each spring, new growth would burst through and aim for the sky. Every winter the rain and wind would beat it down to rot on the ground. Year after year, century after century, this process would be repeated, until the rotted vegetation was perhaps up to 5m thick.
But wait, there’s more. Once people started to populate these areas, they discovered a life-saving property. Dig it up in brick sizes, stack it up and let it dry, and it makes great fuel for the fire. I asked why these clods burn when the clods we dig up at home would likely have the opposite effect. The answer is simply that there is no dirt here. No soil. This is why only potatoes would grow here. They don’t need soil to grow. But that’s a story for another time.

Full disclosure. I DID happen to have an Irish Coffee there 🤷‍♂️

There was also the peculiar village of Killorglin, whose claim to fame was that they were once saved from an invading army by a gaggle of goats. Ever since, they have an annual 3-day celebration called King Puck, where they choose a goat and park him up on a tower, and drink to his good health. During these three days, all pubs are open 24hrs. This is a party that promises to get rough.
So if you’re looking for an excuse for a 3-day bender, hurry along. It starts in about 10 days. And then again every August.

Otherwise, lots of water views, some of Dingle Bay, some straight out into the Atlantic, and then some lakes as we came back into Killarney. But doing that road in a big-arsed bus was certainly a testament to the skills of our driver Gerry. It was also a challenge to my anti-carsickness philosophy.

So here’s the evidence.









Killarney

Tuesday July 30 cont.

We have arrived in Killarney, and it looks like a busy afternoon.
First we pop down to a local lake to check out a wee Castle. Are we spotting a bit of a theme here?


Then it’s off to the local stately home. Muckross House. It’s all very “Upstairs Downstairs”.


Apparently they were famous as somewhere Queen Victoria and Prince Albert stayed when they visited Ireland. They had rooms decorated, drapes designed and woven and furniture designed and built, just for the visit. We are told it took six years and vast sums to prepare for a two day visit.
Clearly this was not the time where you could just text ahead for impromptu visits. “Hi guys, thought we’d pop in for a coffee. Hope you’re decent. LOL.  Just coming up the drive. See you in a minute. Love Vic and Berty”

It seems that the owners were hoping to impress the royals so much that they would get onto the list for a peerage of some sort. Unfortunately, soon after they went home, Berty died of typhoid fever, and Victoria was too busy picking out her new black wardrobe to remember that little detail. Was it too much of a coincidence? Did Vic somehow blame Muckross for the disease? Regardless, the cost of the visit, along with managerial incompetence, led to the estate going bankrupt.

Next on the agenda was a visit to the Muckross farm. They have set it up to operate pretty much as they did 100 years ago. An interesting wee tour, followed by a locally sourced dinner. Nice.
I had my second Irish Coffee for the day. This could become a habit.












Back to the hotel, and we had a wee stroll around the nearby streets. Very vibrant, a great atmosphere if you’re not a boring old fart like me.



Heading to County Kerry

Tuesday July 30

On the way to our next stop, we make an impromptu stop at a wee fishing village called Youghal. It’s pronounced “y’awl” , as if you’re having a conversation with a Texan.
It seems that this little village was chosen as the location of the movie Moby Dick starring Gregory Peck. They all stayed in the local pub, and did most of their filming within 100m of the pub.

We stopped to sample their Irish Coffee. Mmmm nice.

There are a couple of wacko characters in this town. One is a self-appointed Town Cryer, while the other likes to wave around a harpoon, trying to recruit sailors for a mission.








Then it was off to Blarney Castle. You may ask, did I kiss the Blarney Stone?  Fuck off. No. Seriously! FUCK. OFF.

First, the climb up the steps would have killed me. I seriously doubt that the paramedics would be able to carry a stretcher down a spiral stone staircase. Not with me weighing it down. Nah, let the fat bastard stay there till he either wakes or dies.
Second, apparently there is an element of contortion required to assume the position for the aforementioned kids. That would definitely cripple me. On any given day, when I bend down to do something as simple as tie my laces, bookmakers could lay good odds on whether or not I could stand back up. So, ah no.

Third, have you heard the stories about the locals? They pee over the edge onto the stone, and have a great chuckle as to who will get to kiss that thing tomorrow.

So I n case I wasn’t clear: Fuck Off.
















Regardless, it’s a great place to visit. Gardens, souvenirs, lunch. I’ll take that.

At the moment we are sitting on the bus at 19 minutes past the designated departure time, waiting for one moron. I haven’t heard an ambulance siren yet, so they may have survived the pee-stone kiss.
Hold that. Crisis averted. She thought it was a 1330 kick-off. Moron.

But wait! Her husband and the tour guide have gone on a rescue mission. Good Grief. 🤦🏼‍♂️