Heading to Cologne

 On the bus at 0755, and we hit the road. 

Stop at a small village called Rüdesheim am Rhein

It’s apparently famous for Christmas markets. We’re a few months early for that. Very cute, though. Another time, perhaps.

On the road again, following the Rhine. 

Recently we did a whistle stop in Apia. The drive from the airport to the main town (city?) was punctuated by a church every few hundred metres.

Same here. Blink and here comes another castle or a church. Often both. All the way down the Rhine. At least 40 castles and over 270 churches within sight of the river.

From a place called Sankt Goarshausen we catch a boat for a wee jaunt up the river.

Nearby is a statue for a woman called Loreley, who apparently threw herself off a cliff into the river, rather than be sent to a convent.

When we get off at Kamp Bornhofen, then it’s onto a smaller coach to head up the hill to an old castle for lunch

It’s called Burg Liebenstein, and has amazing views of the river and village below.

After lunch we carry on to Köln, or Cologne to us. 

First stop is the Cologne Cathedral. Impressive. Sarah lit a couple of candles for her parents. 

We had some free time, so decided to look around the neighborhood instead of wandering further afield like the others. 

I happened upon a shop selling t-dhirts that appealed. Pity it was a Sunay is all I can say.

We ended up at a place called Five Guys, a kind of wanna be McDonald’s. We decided to have a large fries, to tide us over until we did dinner tonight. 

First shock: 8.95 euros for a large fries!! Do the math, people!!!

Second shock: A medium drink-sized paper cup full of fries AND the same amount poured onto the tray.

Holy shitballs, that’s a lot of potatoes!!

Before we can leave Five Guys to meet the group again, the heavens open. I had to wonder if this was some kind of payback for using up two candles at a Catholic cathedral. Perhaps...

We joined a tour today

 The plan was to take a ride into the centre of Frankfurt, with the guide giving us a history lesson on the way. 2-3 hours and then back to the hotel for dinner. 

What could go wrong?

This happens to be CSD, or to the uninitiated, Christopher Street Day. Not helpful?

It’s the German Pride Week, which seems to be shoehorned into 3 days. 

So many roads closed, and alternate routes designated by the management don’t allow for a big-arsed bus. So a bit of meandering and manoeuvring through turns and streets that earned the driver his beer with dinner. 

We stopped briefly at the Jewish cemetery before finding a way into the town centre. 

Families would put pebbles on these named plaques, to commemorate the cemetery that was destroyed during darker days.

The town centre is now more open than an hour ago.

Wow. 

Lots of impressive buildings, but oh Lordy. 

Lots of colourful people being ridiculously effusive. Costumes. Body paint. Just wow. 

I imagine all the straight Frankfurters are in hiding this week. 

Second recon on our last day in Frankfurt

 Wandered to a Saturday market nearby.

Flower markets are obviously a thing here.

. 

Stopped for a pizza and a drink.

A bee claimed ownership of my drink.

Bugger

My wife is pathetic

 She tells me that her favorite purchase for this trip was a VPN subscription. 

For safety? No

For security? No

So that she can watch fucking Corro Street on TVNZ

Pathetic

First recon on German soil

 Ventured out for a look around the neighbourhood.

Found a Woolworths. Not a supermarket, but a cross between a $2 shop and a small department store. Sarah picked up a couple of tops and a drink bottle.

Then we found an Aldi. This is a supermarket. If you have Sarah's fetish for checking out the nearest supermarket in any new town, then you will be familiar with Aldi. We've seen them in Australia and the UK.

I did notice that a particular shopper habit has transcended both language and continent:

Picking up an item to buy, changing your mind, and then depositing it back on a completely random shelf. Sarah and I often chuckle about this in our local supermarkets. 

Obviously some human traits are universal, even the bad ones.

That coke bottle will find no freunden this shelf. Not punny? Really?

Something I did not expect was that they would treat their meat like we would expect to find a pack of batteries, toothbrushes or box cutters. 

Plastic wrapped onto a cardboard backing.

On our way back to the hotel, Sarah noticed this flower shop. Rather old school. Nice.

Credit to Nicola Jane

Many years ago, Nicci told us that she had occasionally taken a power box overseas. One of those multiplug boxes that you plug your crap into, using up only one wall socket. 

This can then be plugged into an adapter for whatever country you’re in. 

A brilliant idea for when every phone or device came with it's own 3-pin plug on the charger. 

Now, of course, everything has moved to USB, first type-A, and more recently type-C. 

So a pocket full of cables is now standard. 

I have a couple of adaptors I carry now that cover all countries. They also have USB plugs built in. 

My biggest concern, however, is the weight of adapters. Once you’ve loaded it up with USB cables, and maybe a 3-pin plug hanging off the back for those that take it, and it’s pretty heavy. That means that all of the weight is hanging a couple of inches away from the prongs of the plug.

If it’s the Au/NZ plug or the UK/SIN/UAE style, there’s a lot to hold on with. For the EU type, not so much. 2 round pins, no more.

Add to that, hotel rooms. Like many things that get used many times daily, hotel room plugs get a little loose. Just sayin’. 

So we have to be prepared for the occasion when the plug wants to fall out of the plug, or the socket is so close to some furniture that you can’t use it with a bulky adapter.

And then I found it. Circling back to Nicola Jane’s idea. In K-Mart (I know, right?!?), I found a perfect toy from Anko.

It has 2 x 3-pin plugs for hair-dryer or cpap machine

It has 2 x USB-A ports

It has 2 x USB-C ports

It also has an assortment of plugs to suit your country du jour. 

Plus, this is the only adaptor I’ve seen with the full round plug for Europe, called a schuko plug. 

The round body fits into the socket to better support the fit. 

The alternative is a flat plug called a Europlug. 

Because it’s not the shape of the circular recess in the socket, it doesn’t support the weight quite as well. 

They're not terrible, because their shape includes a wedge at each end that is supported in the round recess.
Most travel plugs use this style, for lack of bulk, particularly in a multiplug. 

As one final note to flexibility, I have put a short extension cord in my bag, for the older properties that are not replete with plug locations.

Bottom line. I’ve done my PhD and hopefully have all possible hotel room scenarios covered. It would not go well for me if Sarah's phones and work iPad don't get the warm buzz of electricity every night.

Having now said that, sure as eggs is eggs, an unexpected scenario will hit me upside of the head sometime soon.

Welcome to Germany

We landed last night at Frankfurt about 1940. It was either a quiet part of the terminal or a quiet time of the day. Or both. 

The first sign was the long staircase ahead of us just after getting off the aircraft. Strait up with 2 landings on the way. Shit!! Where’s the defib machine when I need it?

After I got to the top I noticed an unused escalator parallel to the steps. Didn’t feel the need to turn it on when a 777 pulls up? Pretty sure i wasn't hallucinating the escalator after the exertion, but we didn't see it at the bottom of the steps.

That reminds me... Did you hear about the blonde who go stuck for 2 hours when the escalator she was on broke down?  Never mind.

Then customs. Lots of flash new immigration pods with their welcoming glowing lights. Roped off. We had to queue for 3 customs officers.

By the way, there were 2 separate zones. One for EU passports, where the immigration drones were usable, and one for the riff raff. Where they weren’t.

Not too arduous, though. Soon got through, and found the belts with our luggage. One for Economy, one for the posh classes. Maybe this terminal is for smaller aircraft.

Soon had our bags and walked out. This is definitely not on the scale of Dubai. This part of the building is not much different in size from Christchurch.

Then the drama was finding our driver. Rebooking is easier in a foreign country, right?

Sarah had a text from him before we left Dubai, so she rang him. Doesn’t speak English, but he’ll be there in 2 minutes.

All is well. 

About a 15-20 minute ride, a small taste of autobahns to come.

The driver found the hotel, but struggled to find the entrance. We got there, and said goodbye to our rather peculiar driver. He reminded me of one of those caricature underlings in a Frankenstein or villain movie.

Igor.

Unkind, I know. You were warned.

Asian Prayer

 Tik is a very dear friend of ours, who I happen to work with.

She is many things to many people:

To Sarah, she is a "sister from another mister"

To me, she is my favourite "Crazy Bitch Asian"

The reason for this post is that she made an observation some time ago:

• Christians pray before they eat. They call it saying grace.
• Asians take photos of their food.

So what would be more appropriate than calling these photos an Asian Prayer?

We often take these photos, just to send to Tik, hoping to make her jealous.

She's also a bit of a local restaurant whisperer.

I'd take a photo of my plate, and most of the time she could name the restaurant we were in.

Anyway, throughout this trip, one or two Asian prayers will make it into this blog.

They are for Tik's benefit.

I may just mention an Asian prayer from time to time. Now you know what I mean.

A Trick of the Light

Dubai is as different as day and night

 

Grill or Sautéed?

 So we touched down at about 0015 local time, and it was about 38deg outside.

What? But there is no sun? What the...

I first experienced this in Kuala Lumpur. Sitting at a cafe on the pavement, eating ice-cream at midnight. No logic sometimes in nature.

This looks like the beginning of the Lobster Tour. Should I just tough it out au naturel for the grilled effect, or rub on some kind of accoutrement for a sautéed finish?

A short ride to our B&B. A wee place called Obelisk. Sarah is clocking up her points.

Nice. I keep expecting my old friend Asterix pop up from behind one of the pillars in the foyer

When we checked in, the guy told us that we were connected to a small mall. We checked it out today. Wafi Mall has over 250 stores and 31 food outlets. Just a small mall.

Something I haven't seen before, is the way you call the lift. That's elevator for the educated.

All the controls are on the outside.You type the floor you want, and then it tells you which lift has been assigned. Go to that lift and wait for it to arrive.

If there are multiple floors entered, the screen shows you all of them.

A little odd, methinks.

In our room was a nice sweet treat, complements of the hotel

What I didn't expect was the postcard. Have a closer look...

Nice touch.

By the way, this is the view from our room.

Off to Dubai

 Took the 21 o'clock flight from Singapore to Dubai. Sarah watched some mushy romantic movie, then watched Bridget Jones Diary. Again. So 2 mushy romantic movies, then. A pattern here.

I did some more work on my project, and we both dozed for the second half of the 7-hr flight.

Singapore is 4-hrs behind NZ time, and Dubai is 4-hrs behind Singapore. Frankfurt will be 2-hrs behind Dubai. By the time we get to Europe, our body clocks will be a little screwed, even if it is a gentle screwing, over a few days. The kind with flowers and chocolates.

Actually, that reminds me of an old joke. A pre-PC joke, I suppose.

A young couple meet at a pub, and hit it off very well. So well, in fact, that they needed to consumate their meeting immediately, so off they go to the back seat of his car.

After they're done, the young man is remorseful. "If I'd known you were a virgin, I would have taken it slower".

To which the young woman replied "If I'd known you were in such a hurry, I'd have taken my pantyhose off".

WOW! That took a turn..

I did warn you at the top. My mind diverts into peculiar cul-de-sacs on a fairly regular basis.

Anyway...

The tail view camera has fairly crappy resolution, but it has it's moments

Landed in Dubai without incident

Something I noticed on the marathon from our gate to the Arrivals hall in Dubai.

At regular intervals, EK have these racks, ready for the exhausted child.

They actually need more adult sizes.

If you think the walk at Christchurch Regional to gate 5 is a long way, then the Concourse designer for Dubai Airports simply says "Hold my beer".

Damn it's a long walk, and that includes a series of travelators.

SG60

Singapore is turning 60.

To celebrate, there a a myriad of events, but probably the biggest one is a National Day Parade held on August 9th.

They have been practicing for this for months.

Every Saturday afternoon they have been closing the roads used for the parade, so that they can have rehearsals, then dress rehearsals, then more rehearsals.

Yesterday the peace was destroyed by military aircraft blasting low overhead. Twice during dinner. Any loose fillings were at risk.Very loud. Rehearsing.

They take their National Day seriously.

They take everything seriously. 

These photos caught about 4 Police Special Operations Command Units driving past Raffles.

I'm guessing they were involved in the rehearsals.

You certainly wouldn't want one of then rolling up to your street party on the weekend.

Serious people. They could teach Trump's ICE agents a thing or two.

It's amazing how such a small country has such a serious military. If we tried planning for some fighter jets to do a flyover in New Zealand, we'd have to borrow them. We haven't had any for 24 years.

The navy isn't much better supported. 2 ships.

Rumour has it that during the Falklands war in 1982, we offered to send a couple of frigates, but couldn't get them started. Just sayin'

 

Compulsory Stop

 When in Singapore, a visit to Raffles is somewhat compulsory. 

A very elegant old British establishment, the Famous Long Bar is on the first and second floors. We picked a quiet time. Previously, we have had to queue outside and wait for a table.

As you can see from the prices, the obligatory sling is not a cheap way to get drunk. Buy your date the Vintage Sling and she will be more impressed than your bank manager.

And for the uninitiated, this is a cleaner's nightmare. That is a bag of peanuts on the table in front of Sarah's niece. Help yourself to the peanuts and drop the shells on the floor.

No parent or significant other would thank you for bringing that particularly habit home. 

They also won't believe that shelling peanuts qualifies as exercise of any kind.

No surprise that Sarah’s OCD had her twitchy about the mess. If she’d seen a broom, there would have been no stopping her. 

We're in Singapore

 Just to catch you up....

Wednesday was our last day of work.

Thursday we flew Christchurch to Auckland in the afternoon, and stayed at a hotel within a stone's throw from Auckland International terminal.

We do this a lot, because Sarah only does one sector a day. I tease her mercilessly about it, so don't tell her that it's a good idea. Too often we have had to deal with passengers who had their trip upended before it began, because the weather set in and they missed their connections. Or there are mechanical issues with the domestic flight because the pilot's wallet got wedged behind his seat cushion. Or maybe the plane was broken.

Regardless, there are many reasons why what started as a perfect connection between two flights, domestic or international, turns quickly into a scramble for seats to get somewhere.

OK, so Friday morning we saunter into check-in, all refreshed and with all the time in the the world. (Don't tell her, OK?)

We check out the Premium check-in space, because I'm a Koru member. Pretty civilised, but with 4 bag drops it's odd that we can only use the one with a staff member draped over it. Policy schmolicy.

The fun thing is that this check-in area has a private lift to the premium queue at Emigration upstairs. That's a nice touch.

So through the sensory overload called duty free, we navigate to the Air New Zealand lounge.

Pretty busy here, but we find a couple of seats. A few choices for breakfast, and then we just wait for the call to the gate, that the lounge PA promised.

Unfortunately, the call didn't come, so we made our way to the gate when the app told me they were boarding. Gate 5 is only a short walk, so no harm no foul.

To be fair, I've been a firm believer that if you can afford Koru membership, you can afford a fucking watch. So there's that. Just don't over-promise.

The flight to Singapore was uneventful, and I mean that in a good way. Premium Economy seats are like the old-school Business class on some airlines. I actually prefer this to our Business product. That is a very insular experience, and not really designed to travel with the Missus.

The food, as always, was terrific. Like a Clayton's Business Class menu. Sarah had the fish, and loved it. I had the porkbelly. Perfect. Snack after a few hours I had a ham sandwich, Sarah had salmon. Then dinner before landing I did the short ribs and Sarah did the trifecta with another fish dish.

That in itself is odd. Sarah almost never chooses fish on the ground. She made up for that here.

During the flight, she read a couple of her trashies, had a snooze, and watched Paddington in Peru (again), and the new, woke Snow White.

I spent most of the flight working on a self-imposed project for work. Our Collective is too many pages and too convoluted. Every negotiation we've been in, we all had best intentions of tidying up the clauses to work better together. Every time we run out of time.

So that's my mission before I retire. Not to rebuild it, but to make a Readers Digest version, grouping together the clauses that matter to people. So that was me during our 10-hr flight. I'll be doing that during the flights, or when I'm not writing to you, dear readers.

Arrival in Singapore is such a doddle, compared to most places. Off the aircraft and a short walk to the escalator down to arrivals. I know that this is a huge airport, and sometimes there are many, many travelators to get you where you need to be. Like BKK.

But wherever AirNZ have negotiated to land here, it's really close.

Once we got to the top of the escalator, I knew where I was. Looking down into a huge room (empty this time of day), the far wall is literally a wall of self-processing droids.

Last time I was here, there was a wall of uniformed officers doing this job. They're probably all Grab drivers now.

This is all well and good, till I get to the second droid, where I have to be recognised by the camera, and matched to the passport photo I've just shown them at the first droid, in order to get out of the drafting gates.

Let me just say now that they do not have iPhone technology here. Attempt after attempt failed. Then a smug officer with an iPad comes over and says "Take your glasses off", and suddenly I was released and on my way.

Now I ask you...

In every Superman movie you've ever seen, did the Clark Kent glasses REALLY make him unrecognisable as Superman? Of course not. "Oh look, it's Superman with a suit on. And he's wearing glasses"

Not here. Mr Kent had better not present his Superman passport here, or he'd be stuck.

And my iPhone recognises me with or without glasses, moustache or beard. Just saying...

And So it Begins

 So here we are again. 

We’re about to set off on a somewhat extended holiday to Europe. Other than a quick weekend in Sweden a few years ago, and about a month in the UK more recently, we haven’t done that part of the world before. 

Now before you settle in to follow the exploits, we need to reset expectations.

If you’re expecting a testosterone-fuelled romp on a series of rabid Contiki tours, you’re wildly off the mark. 

This will just be a series of observations accompanied by occasional photographic evidence. 

If you know me, you’ll expect my observations to be sometimes obtuse, often vulgar, always without anything resembling a filter. 

If you don’t know me, then what are you doing here?

So let’s start the ball rolling by talking about airport toilet cubicles. I did warn you to lower your expectations!!

I’ve seen this at both Christchurch and Auckland airports. Cubicles with delusions of grandeur, they try to do double duty as a surprise bidet. At random times, it’ll just flush!

For those of us who identify as having low hanging fruit, just know that they will get an unexpected rinse. 

What??

I know they are trying to be clever by using a sensor to flush automatically as you stand up. If only it did. Do better